Tony Abbott Wakes With Nagging Feeling He Gave A British Monarch A Knighthood Yesterday
Prime Minister Tony Abbott woke up this morning with a thumping
headache and a vague recollection of awarding a racist Greek Prince
Australia’s highest honour.
Frantically texting friends to see if he really had made a total tit
of himself, Mr Abbott was by late morning starting to piece together
just what happened on Australia Day.
A Liberal party confidant, who did not wish to be named, said he broke the truth gently to Mr Abbott.
“I told him, ‘yes you may have given Prince Philip a knighthood on
the spur of the moment. But don’t worry about it too much. Most people
probably didn’t notice or have forgotten about it already anyway.
No-one’s really talking about it today’”.
Another insider said the last he saw of Mr Abbott yesterday, the
Prime Minister was riding around on a make-believe horse, wearing
nothing but a paper crown and shouting ‘close the drawbridge and man the
cannons!’
Those close to Mr Abbott say he has a reputation for hitting it
pretty hard. In 2013 he ran a 4-week election campaign bender and later
couldn’t remember anything he said.
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